Awakening The Mook Vote

Billmon talks about Howard Stern's booting from six Clear Channel stations on Tuesday, ostensibly because of Stern's Stern's Tuesday broadcast in which they say he used sexually explicit language and graphically discussed a pornographic videotape. (He interviewed the man attached to the appendage in Paris Hilton's video.)

Understandably, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm sure he's never before sunk so low as to feature an interview with someone in the (gasp) porn business.

Obviously, Clear Channel would never, ever try to censor someone for political reasons. That's just unthinkable. So, even though some people might think that his Monday broadcast was the real reason he was fired, they wouldn't be right. Clear Channel, home of Rush Limbaugh and Dr Laura, would never try to stifle free speech by firing someone who said something like this:

Howard: ...over the vacation I read Al Franken's book, Lying liars who... it's great.

Robin: Yeah?

Howard: It's a great... He is phenomenal.

Artie: He's a funny guy.

Robin: That's the one that Bill O'Reilly was upset about.

Howard: I can see why.

Robin: Yeah?

Howard: He does a thing. It's really funny... I bought the book, and I said on my vacation I'm going to read Al Franken's book. Lying liars who lie... I don't even know the title. And uh... the first page he insults me.

Robin: Really?

Howard: yeah, he talks about how I'm, like me and uhh Ann Coulter are McCarthyites or something... like ya know it's was just really insulting. And I And I And I And I just said, ya know...

Robin: You, and Ann Coulter, that's interesting.

Howard: I can get past this if Al doesn't like me. But, I'm not even sure why I'm like McCarthy, but, evidently I am, according to AL and ya know what, if Al says it it must be true because

Robin: because you loved this book and he was right on about everything...

Howard: I loved the book, and he seems to be right on about everything. If you read this book you will never vote for George W Bush.

Robin: Yeah?

Howard: Because, what he does is, he takes everything that you've seen in the newspaper, and goes back and he get 12 Harvard kids...

Artie: (Laughing)

Howard: ...to research everything and to find out what really happened...

Robin: uh huh?

Howard: and when you find out the truth about stuff, it is just frightening and he does a chapter on uhh on Hannity and Colmes from the Fox news network that is so funny... I mean I can't even tell you how funny it is.

Robin: Really? I've got to get this book.

Howard: Somebody outta fund him some money then let him make a movie like what's his name does, Micheal Moore.

Robin: Yeah.

Howard: Yeah. He is he is really good.

Robin: Well he's going to be on that radio, the liberal radio network.

Howard: I'll listen to him. I'll listen to him if it's as good as that book.

Robin; that's what he's planning to do

Howard: Lying liars who lie or something like that

Robin; I know it's all about lies that lying liars tell.

Howard: Yeah, and it's really funny.

Artie: Well he's one of those guys even if you disagree with his politics you think he's funny...

Howard: Yeah!

Artie: ...because he's such a funny guy

Robin: But he convinced you it sounds.

Howard: Oh oh... he was so it was awesome, the book is awesome. I'm going to give tone...

Robin: All right, I'm going to get it.

Howard: ...to Scott Depace who's like one of those guys who the republicans can do no wrong.

Fred: (Southern Accent) No thank you!

Howard: (Southern Accent) I'm not readin' that!

Fred: (Southern Accent) I'm not readin' nun uh dat der bull...

Robin: (Southern Accent) I don't want my mind opened.

Howard: (Southern Accent) Don't open up my mind.

Robin: (Southern Accent) I like it closed.

Howard: Well I've been feeling really horrible about George W Bush since what's going on with the FCC and what's going on in this country with stem cell research. What's going on now

Robin: the abortion thing

Howard: the abortion thing. I feel that there's way too much government in our lives, and I can't believe G W Bush is behind it. I think this guy is a religious fanatic and a Jesus freak.

Robin: Uh huh.

Howard: and he is just on a hell bent on getting some sort bizarro agenda through, like a country club agenda that his father will be finally proud of him. And uhh I I umm I don't know much about Kerry but I think that I'm one of them anybody but Bush guys now, ever since the FCC stuff went down and it directly effects me and even some of the things with the economy.

Baba Booey: Don't you think that it's weird...

Robin: Well, the economy is a big a huge issue.

Howard: I don't think G W is going to win. What do you think of that?


So, suddenly John Hogan, Bush Ranger and CEO of Clear Channel discovers that Howards Stern talks about pornography on his show and is offended.

The day after Stern made the above remarks.

Coincidence, I'm sure.

Billmon believes that Karl is orchestrating this and using Clear Channel as a cut-out to appeal to the religious fnatics who seem to be holding his hand over a flaming burner these days. He may be right.

But, he also says, and I agree, that they are playing with fire with another Bush constituency --- the "Fuck You boys," as Stan Greenberg calls them, or simply the "Mooks" as I call them. Young, white, male assholes, basically. If they vote, it's usually because they've been told to by their culture heroes.

The mooks worship Howard. He is their Rush Limbaugh and if he turns it into a crusade, they'll vote. These guys are amongst the vast alienated 50% of Americans who aren't usually interested in politics. Take away their Howard and they just might get motivated.

The mooks are unhappy.

Might I just mention before I get a slew of e-mails about what a misogynist jerk Howard Stern is, that I agree that he's a misogynist jerk but at this point I just can't get too worked up about it when Rush "Hitlery killed Vince Foster" Limbaugh is being feted at the White House and given a national forum in which to excuse his felonious money laundering and doctor shopping. If he has freedom of speech, then Stern has freedom of speech, period. And if Stern can bring in a few mook votes then I'm with him. I have no interest in playing purity games when this kind of blatent corporate/political gamesmanship is going on.

Furthermore, it's just a little bit galling that a violent, pornographic snuff film that features 15 minutes of big juicy close-ups of hunks of flesh flying off the human body as it is flogged with barbed whips is deemed appropriate for children by supposedly good Christians while they have a complete hissy fit over a 5 second long shot of Janet Jackson's nipple on television.

These people are intellectually incoherent and have no business lecturing anyone in this country about morality.


Corrected to reflect that the correct sadistic flesh gouging implement of the period was not barbed wire, but barbed whips.