The Tiniest Top 10 List Ever
By Dennis Hartley
Say hello to my little friend
What a long, strange trip from Japan to the U.S.A. it’s been for Studio Ghibli’s latest animated film. Released back in the summer of 2010 as The Borrower Arrietty in its native country, it turned into the top grosser there for that year. It then made its way to England and Australia in 2011, where it was known simply as Arrietty. And finally this past week, it arrived on our shores, assigned with yet a third moniker, The Secret World of Arrietty. Even though I have seen the original Japanese version, I can’t truthfully review the print now in theaters. Why? Because its U.S. distributor (Buena Vista Home Entertainment) has seen fit to dumb down…oops, I mean recast, rewrite and re-direct the domestic release version, and I haven’t seen it. Now, it’s not unusual for the Studio Ghibli productions to be “recast” for the English language dub; and anytime you translate dialog, you are, by definition, doing a “rewrite”…but re-direct? That sounds a little dubious to me. Note to Disney: Not all ‘murcans are afraid of reading subtitles, ya know.
But that’s a personal problem. I actually did have a point (damn near lost it). Considering that the story of The Film That Goes By Three Names centers around 4-inch high people, I got to thinking (that’s always dangerous). There have been a number of movies over the years concerning themselves with teeny tiny folks, enough to qualify it as a genre. And wherever there’s a genre, there’s a Top 10 list screaming to get out. And when I’m tapped for ideas, I’ll do anything to entertain my audience (within reason). So, on this Oscar Eve, I am going to take some time out to thank all the little people…in alphabetical order:
The Borrower Arrietty
– As I qualified in my preface, this particular recommendation is based on the original 2010 Japanese version, directed by Hiromasa Yonebayashi. At any rate, this is an enchanting offering from Studio Ghibli, and easily ranks up there with their best work. Based on English children’s author Mary Norton’s 1952 novel, The Borrowers, the story follows the travails of a family of 4-inch tall people who live under the floorboards of a country home. Teenaged Arrietty (voiced by Mirai Shida) and her parents survive by “borrowing” items from the humans who live upstairs; items that they won’t necessarily miss (for example, a cube of sugar yields a year’s worth of sweetener for their tea). Of course, the tricky part is doing so without ever being discovered. When Arrietty is accidently spotted one day by the human boy who lives in the house, life for her family becomes complicated. This is a lovely film, beautifully animated. The screenplay was adapted by Ghibli’s master director, Hayao Miyazaki, with Keiko Niwa.
Darby O'Gill and the Little People
– Sean Connery…in a film about leprechauns?! Well, stranger things have happened. Albert Sharpe gives a delightful performance as lead character Darby O’Gill in this 1959 fantasy from perennially family-friendly director Robert Stevenson (Mary Poppins, The Love Bug, The Absent-Minded Professor, That Darn Cat!). Darby is a crusty yet benign b.s. artist who finds himself embroiled in the kind of tale no one would believe if he told them it were true-matching wits with the King of the Leprechauns (Jimmy O’Dea), who has offered to play matchmaker between Darby’s daughter (Janet Munro) and the strapping pre-Bond Connery. The special effects hold up surprisingly well (considering the limitations of the time). The scenes between Sharpe and O’Dea are especially amusing (“Careful what you say…I speak Gaelic too!”). Stevenson would later direct another “little people” movie, The Gnome-Mobile, in 1967.
Fantastic Planet
– Lest you begin to think that every film on this list is “family-friendly”, think again. I wouldn’t show this one to the kids (unless they’re the kids from Village of the Damned). Director Rene Laloux’s imaginative 1973 animated fantasy (originally released as La planete sauvage) is about a race of mini-humans called the Oms, who live on a distant planet and have been enslaved (or otherwise viewed and treated as dangerous pests) for generations by big, brainy, blue aliens called the Draags. We follow the saga of Terr, an Om who has been adopted as a house pet by a Draag youngster. Equal parts Spartacus, Planet of the Apes, and that one night in the dorm when you accidently overdosed on mushrooms, it’s all at once unnerving and enthralling.
Fantastic Voyage
– This guilty pleasure, a Cold War thriller/sci-fi/action hybrid starring Raquel Welch (poured into a skin-tight body suit), could only have been concocted in the mid-60s. When a defecting scientist from behind the Iron Curtain sustains a serious head injury during an assassination attempt that occurs while he is being “brought in” by the CIA, it’s up to a crack team of scientists to operate on the life-threatening blood clot…from inside the man’s body (thanks to a top-secret government project that enables humans to be miniaturized to the size of a blood cell). The catch is that the team can only be miniaturized for one hour max. Welch is joined in the world’s tiniest lil’ submarine by Steven Boyd, Donald Pleasance, Arthur Kennedy and William Redfield. Richard Fleisher directed, and the film picked up Oscars (for art/set direction and special effects). The film undoubtedly inspired Joe Dante’s 1987 sci-fi comedy, Innerspace. BTW, director Fleischer’s uncle Dick directed the next film on my list (OK, I’ll say it: Small world, eh?)
Max Fleischer's Gulliver's Travels
(1939) – “There’s a giant on the beach!” Filmmakers have been trying to get this one right for over 100 years (the earliest version was made in 1902, the most recent was 2010), but for me, Dick Fleischer’s 1939 animated musical remains the definitive movie adaptation of Jonathan Swift’s classic novel. Clocking in at just a little over an hour, it’s the breezy tale of a sailor named Gulliver, who washes up on the shores of the fantastical land of Lilliput. At first, the tiny Lilliputians aren’t sure how they should react to this mysterious “giant”, but he proves to be a valuable asset in helping to resolve brewing tensions between them and their neighbors in the equally diminutive kingdom of Blefiscu. A visual and musical delight (and you’ve gotta love a pacifist hero).
Help!
- Compared to its predecessor (A Hard Day’s Night) this second feature film vehicle for The Beatles is a much fluffier affair, at least from a narrative standpoint (Ringo is being chased by a religious cult who wish to offer him up as a human sacrifice to their god; hilarity ensues). But still, it’s a lot of fun, if you’re in the mood for it. Luckily, the Beatles themselves exude enough goofy energy and effervescent charm to make up for the wafer-thin plotline. There are a few good zingers here and there in Marc Behm and Charles Wood’s screenplay; but the biggest delights come from the Beatles’ incredible music, and from director Richard Lester’s flair for pure visual invention. Which brings me to the reason I included this film on my list (you were starting to wonder, weren’t you?). And that would be the vignette entitled “The Exciting Adventure of Paul on the Floor”, wherein Paul accidently receives an overdose of a mad scientist’s “shrinking” serum. Granted, it’s a small (*ahem*) section of the film, but it’s memorable.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
– With hindsight being 20/20, it was probably a wise decision by the suits at Disney to nix this 1989 film’s original working title: “The Teenie-Weenies” (do not go there). Rick Moranis stars as an absent-minded professor-type (living in one of those Spielbergian 1980s suburban milieus) who invents a shrinking device. Before he has a chance to work out the bugs, a freak accident reduces his two kids and the next-door neighbor’s two kids into spoon-sized humans. Hilarity (and some surprising poignancy) ensues, as the four shrunken victims encounter the various microcosmic terrors of the backyard while Dad frantically brainstorms a solution. Special effects are imaginative and well-done. While this is very much a Disney film, it’s not as twee as you would expect. This was the directorial debut for Joe Johnston (October Sky).
The Incredible Shrinking Man
– Always remember, you should never mix your drinks. And, as we learn from Jack Arnold’s 1957 sci-fi classic, you should never mix radiation exposure with insecticide…because that will make you shrink, little by little, day by day. That’s what happens to Everyman Grant Williams (Scott Carey), much to the horror of his wife (Randy Stuart) and his stymied doctors. For a film of its genre, it is unique for its time in that it deals primarily with the emotional, rather than fantastical aspect of the hapless protagonist’s transformation. To be sure, the film has some memorable set-pieces (particularly concerning Grant’s chilling encounters with a spider and his own house cat), but there is more emphasis on how the dynamics of the couple’s relationship changes as Grant becomes more diminutive. In the fullness of time, some critics have come to see a certain amount of socio-political subtext in Richard Matheson’s screenplay; or at the very least a subtle thumb in the eye of 1950s conformity (I go with the latter). Matheson adapted from his novel. He also wrote I Am Legend, adapted for the screen as The Last Man on Earth (1964), The Omega Man (1971) and most recently, its namesake in 2007.
The Indian in the Cupboard
– Veteran Muppeteer Frank Oz teamed up with E.T. screenwriter Melissa Mathison for this light fantasy about a boy and a, erm, tiny Native American warrior who lives in his cupboard. For his ninth birthday, Omri (Hal Scardino) receives a small antique cupboard as a present. One of his friends later gives him a plastic Indian play figure, which he puts in the cupboard. His mother (Lindsay Crouse) digs up a family heirloom key, which enables Omri to secure his new toy. There’s something about the combo of cupboard, key and figurine that results in the appearance of a living, breathing, toy-sized human named Little Bear (played by Native-American rapper Litefoot), who has time-travelled from 1761 (don’t ask). Soon he has two equally diminutive companions, a cowboy (David Keith), and a bumbling WW I English soldier (Steve Coogan). The film does occasionally lag at times, but its sweet nature, gentle tone and positive message about tolerance isn’t the worst thing you could share with the kids.
The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb
– This film, on the other hand, is probably about the worst thing you could share with the kids. Closer in spirit to Eraserhead than, say, Pinocchio, this is one of those films that nearly defies description. English slum dwellers Ma and Pa Thumb (Deborah Collard and Nick Upton) are initially taken aback when Ma gives birth to an infant you could fit in your shirt pocket. Still, the proud parents soon find themselves showering their adorable (if freakish) little Tom with love and affection. Unfortunately, this happy family scenario is rudely interrupted when Tom is kidnapped by black-clad henchmen, who spirit him away to a truly creepy genetic lab. Tom’s secret adventures are only beginning. Writer-director Dave Borthwick utilizes stop-motion techniques, combining actors with claymation to create an overall unsettling mood. It almost plays like a silent film; any “dialog” is unintelligible gibberish. All of the actors employ the same bizarrely mannered facial tics and line delivery, which are strangely reminiscent of Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Sling Blade. It’s weird, yet compelling.
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