Marty Kaplan: A Leonard Nimoy Story
by Gaius Publius
As loved as Leonard Nimoy and his signature character Mr. Spock are, I thought this would be appreciated. It's from Marty Kaplan, a longtime Hollywood and political insider, and also a writer (see his bio at the end of this piece).
This is from Nimoy's time directing the 1988 film A Good Mother, which starred Diane Keaton, ten years from Annie Hall, Jason Robards, and a young Liam Neeson. Kaplan and Nimoy developed a 30-year-long relationship, which apparently started with this shoot and this exchange.
In Kaplan's telling, it's vintage Nimoy and vintage Spock. Kaplan is the Disney studio executive on the set of the picture. His job is to relay instruction from the "suits" back home to the director, in this case, Nimoy. In this scene, Nimoy plays Nimoy.
Kaplan writes:
Spock's 'Good Mother'
"Oh, by the way, Leonard," I say into the phone, as breezily as I can feign, "what did you think about Diane's belt?"
Leonard Nimoy is on location in Cambridge, Massachusetts, preparing to direct The Good Mother
for Disney, starring Diane Keaton. I'm the executive on the movie, on
the lot, where a studio chieftain and I have just watched the makeup,
hair and wardrobe tests Leonard had shot. (I won't identify the mogul,
but it's unlikely you'd know his name.)
"What about Diane's belt?" Leonard replies, not remotely breezy, more like, do not go there.
"Didn't you think it was kind of wide? So wide it pulls your eyes
from her face?" I am trying my best to translate the order the studio
honcho had barked in the screening room -- "Tell him to lose that goddam belt!" -- into a casual afterthought.
Silence. Then: "Where did you say you went to college?"
He knows where, it's located in the city where he's shooting, but I answer.
"And after that? Your next degree -- where did you get that?"
I tell him. This call is not going to a good place.
"And then a Ph.D., if I'm not mistaken. Where's that from?"
I have now named three of the world's most storied universities.
After another excruciating silence: "Tell me. Is this what you thought you'd be doing with that education?"
"Excuse me?"
"Yes," he muses, "I can see how having to tell me what some imbecile
suit doesn't have the balls to tell me himself -- that must be fairly
difficult for someone as bright as yourself." The words are brutal, but
the tone is Vulcan.
"I'll give him your regards," I lie.
It's a miracle that a near 30-year friendship could rise from ashes
like that, but it did. I loved hanging out with him. At birthdays and
seders, in the classroom and on the radio, talking politics or
parenting, Leonard and his wife Susan generously opened their hearts and
home to me. And after all those years, having been reamed by Leonard
Nimoy remains pretty much the coolest thing about me.
There's a second Nimoy-cum-Spock story in Kaplan's piece. I encourage you to read it. Apparently Nimoy was born to play Spock, or rather, Spock was born to play Nimoy.
Here's Kaplan's academic history, by the way, from his Wikipedia page. Not shabby; and interesting that Nimoy knew this going into the conversation:
Marty Kaplan graduated from Harvard College summa cum laude in molecular biology and won the Le Baron Russell Briggs prize for delivering the English Oration at commencement. He was president of the Harvard Lampoon and of the Signet Society;
at both, his tenure included a change in by-laws leading to the first
admission of women members after 95 years (the Lampoon) and 100 years
(the Signet). ... The recipient of a Marshall Scholarship from the
British government, he received a Master's degree in English with First
Class Honours from Cambridge University in England. As a Danforth Foundation Fellow, he received a Ph.D. in Modern Thought and Literature from Stanford University.
So, Harvard (cum laude), Cambridge, Stanford. Not shabby. Kaplan was also a speechwriter in the Carter administration and is currently a professor at the USC Annenberg School for Communication, as well as the Norman Lear Chair in Entertainment, Media and Society.
Still, as he says, "Having been reamed by Leonard
Nimoy remains pretty much the coolest thing about me." I would be pleased to have been so honored. LLAP, Spock.
GP
.