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Hullabaloo


Thursday, September 01, 2016

 

Trump's Top Ten

by Tom Sullivan

As Bruce Banner said in The Avengers, "So, this all seems ... horrible." Donald Trump's immigration speech in Phoenix last night fits that description. We will have analyses of that speech coming out our bleeding ears for weeks. All in all, the picture Trump painted of an America under Barack Obama and a prospective Hillary Clinton administration looked more like The Road Warrior. Strangely enough, you'd think that might have a certain appeal to Trump's alt-right supporters.

For those who missed it, a quick summary of the lowlights.

Top Ten Things That Will Never Happen Under A Trump Administration That Will Never Happen

Via transcript by the Los Angeles Times:

#1

We will build a great wall along the southern border.

And Mexico will pay for the wall.
One hundred percent. Buh-leeve him. (Pay no attention to Mexico's president.)

#2
Under my administration, anyone who illegally crosses the border will be detained until they are removed out of our country and back to the country from which they came.
Trump referenced Eisenhower's Operation Wetback, which simply dumped Mexicans across the border. Not under Trump. Trump will fly them far from the border and back to their countries of origin. Of course, he'll need a Trump family-owned airline (Trump Air?) to contract for that work.

#3
Zero tolerance for criminal aliens. Zero. Zero.

Zero. They don't come in here. They don't come in here.

According to federal data, there are at least 2 million, 2 million, think of it, criminal aliens now inside of our country, 2 million people criminal aliens. We will begin moving them out day one. As soon as I take office. Day one. In joint operation with local, state, and federal law enforcement.
Break out your flags, charge up your cameras, and crank up the Lee Greenwood. He'll make us proud to be Americans again.

Moving forward. We will issue detainers for illegal immigrants who are arrested for any crime whatsoever, and they will be placed into immediate removal proceedings if we even have to do that.
We don't need no stinking due process.

#4
Block funding for sanctuary cities. We block the funding. No more funds.
"Cities that refuse to cooperate" with us will lose federal funding. Cities that assist us we will consider our friends.

#5
Cancel unconstitutional executive orders and enforce all immigration laws.
Because the Kenyan Usurper and Crooked Hillary.

#6
Suspend the issuance of visas to any place where adequate screening cannot occur.

[...]

I call it extreme vetting right? Extreme vetting. I want extreme. It's going to be so tough ...

Another reform, involves new screening tests for all applicants that include, and this is so important, especially if you get the right people. And we will get the right people. An ideological certification to make sure that those we are admitting to our country share our values and love our people.
What could be more American than requiring ideological certification for entry? Certification that the rest of us are a Real Americans comes next.

#7
We will insure that other countries take their people back when they order them deported.
Trump Air will violate foreign countries' air spaces and bomb them with their own citizens if necessary. (But to what country could he send U.S. citizens not certified Real Americans?)

#8
We will finally complete the biometric entry-exit visa tracking system which we need desperately.
And if that's not tough enough, supplemented by ankle bracelets for tourists?

#9
We will turn off the jobs and benefits magnet.
And take no action against employers [cough Trump] who hire illegals.

#10
Within just a few years immigration as a share of national population is set to break all historical records. The time has come for a new immigration commission to develop a new set of reforms to our legal immigration system in order to achieve the following goals.

To keep immigration levels measured by population share within historical norms. To select immigrants based on their likelihood of success in U.S. society and their ability to be financially self-sufficient.

We take anybody. Come on in, anybody. Just come on in. Not anymore.

You know, folks, it's called a two-way street. It is a two-way street, right? We need a system that serves our needs, not the needs of others. Remember, under a Trump administration it's called America first. Remember that.
Your refugees fleeing starvation and oppression. Screw 'em if they can't carry their weight.
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
With Trump in control of the golden door, that lamp goes dark.

Finally, if you wondered what Sarah Palin was doing lately to support The Donald.