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Friday, September 19, 2003

Maidenly Vapors

Sullywatch catches the Prince of P-Town using a bad, bad phrase to describe a fine fellow traveler, Drudge. Oh my, my. And after calling me a "leftist homophobe" for saying the same thing about Sully himself, along with Lesley Stahl and Howard Fineman, for drooling and simpering over Junior's manly profile (the first time --- when he dressed up in fireman's suit.)

I really wish that Miss Manners would start a blog so we could have someone to consult about the appropriateness of certain political discourse. It gets so confusing.

I had been under the misapprehension that once Republican members of Congress called President Clinton a "scumbag" a "pervert" and a "rapist" among other things, that the GOP had joined the ranks of rappers and cast members of The Sopranos as far as crude, insulting language was concerned. Even the esteemed cheerleader frat-boy himself was seen on television calling a reporter a "major league asshole" and had been quoted saying he and his father talked about "pussy" on the golf course. This newfound willingness to say in public what Richard Nixon had only said in the privacy of the Oval Office, seemed to signal a loosening of the old fashioned edict that elected officials should be civil, at least in public.

Apparently I was wrong about that. Lately, I'm seeing a large number of middle aged Republican men blushing and fidgeting on television over what they say is very inappropriate language on the part of elected Democrats. They are working themselves into a complete tizzy over it.

Ed Gillespie was on CNN the other day practically having to call for the smelling salts he was so upset by the shocking phrase "miserable failure" being applied to the President. He could barely look at the camera he was so embarrassed to have to say such a thing in public. He held back a sob as he whispered, "it's political hate speech."

And just today, the shy and virginal Tom DeLay said "it is disturbing that Democrats have spewed more hateful rhetoric at President Bush then they ever did at Saddam Hussein."

But the brave, young debutante soldiered on. He looked the Democrats right in the eye and said, voice shaking, his little chin trembling, "I call on all the vociferous Democrat critics, from Kerry to Dean and from Daschle to Pelosi, to have the courage to tell their hero Ted Kennedy that he went too far."

I've heard that burning feathers will bring a tightly corseted maid out of a swoon. I would suggest that all the television anchors keep some at the ready, along with a large supply of tissues. The delicate debs of the GOP are likely in for a rough ride over the next few months.

I wonder what the American public is going to make of this newfound delicate sensibility on the right. Certainly, they have forgotten all about that unpleasant impeachment matter and the press are hardly likely to bring up such an unseemly topic. But, you still must wonder how this newfound diffidence and sensitivity will comport with the masculine, fighter jock image that has so captivated Kate O'Beirne and her hot flashing lunch bunch.

Is George W. Bush "Top Gun" or Blanche DuBois?

At the risk of sending Robert Novak to his boudoir with a migraine, I offer a taste of things to come Republicans.

Get out your handkerchiefs.

Jay Leno: "Today, retired General Wesley Clark announced he is running for president of the US. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, graduated first in his class at West Point, supreme commander of NATO, served combat in Vietnam. What, he won the bronze star, silver star, the purple heart. Wounded in battle. See, I'm no political expert, but that sounds pretty good next to choking on a pretzel, falling off a scooter and dropping the dog."

Why, I never...