The Christian counselors Sanford sought out while trying to decide whether to stay with his wife or jump on a plane to South America advised him what else love is and isn't.I guess the only euphoria allowed is the ecstasy you feel for Jesus."Their point is that love is not a feeling," Sanford told The Associated Press in a tearful two-day confessional. "It's a choice. It's an action."
That sentiment might seem cold to many Americans, but it is perfectly consistent with the born-again, evangelical Christian world that Sanford inhabits, says sociologist John Bartowski.
"What evangelicals are doing is sort of carving out a subcultural view of love which is not so highly romanticized as we see in movies, that is at odds with the dominant view of love," says Bartowski, a professor at the University of Texas at San Antonio and author of the book, "Remaking the Godly Marriage: Gender Negotiation in Evangelical Families."
That world view, he says, "divorces" love from emotion, because "feelings are fleeting and not to be trusted."
"Love is something that is cultivated in the trenches of living a day-to-day relationship," says Bartowski. "That is not a Hallmark moment."
That makes my teeth hurt."A whole lot more than a simple affair," he said. "It's a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."