Socialite Freedom Fighters
Yesterday I wrote about the propensity of conservatives (and those who think like them) to get overstimulated by terrorist violence, imagine that they are being personally singled out for the next attack and react as if they are warriors bravely protecting the homeland from the invaders when they are really just sitting around the bar bullshitting about what they'd do, by God, if one o' them terrists tried to take what's theirs. It's Walter Mitty stuff, driven by the rush of non-stop war porn on TV.
Jonathan Schwarz recalls a similar situation during the LA riots back in 1992. I was here then also and what he describes is absolutely true. People I worked with had all "heard" that "they" had stolen a fleet of cars and driving into Beverly Hills to rape the wimmin folk and then steal their TVs. I guess everyone's the star of their own drama. Jonathan also recounts a couple of particularly good examples of the phenomenon in DC after 9/11.
But my favorite is a different one. All the Villagers believed they were next and turned to their leader for guidance on what to do.
On the evening of Nov. 14, Quinn took her message to the grass roots, addressing approximately 70 folks at a meeting of the Citizens Association of Georgetown. Speaking from the pulpit of St. John’s Episcopal Church, Quinn said that she had gathered enough information to “scare you a lot.”
Your N95 Mask: The Building Block of Emergency Prep. At her talk, Quinn held this particle-filtering device to her mouth and said that she’s “never without it.” She also stuffs one into the briefcase of her husband, former Post Executive Editor Ben Bradlee, who she says “grouses” about the precaution.
Pick a Room and Stock It. You need water and food to last a week, a battery-powered radio and flashlight, planned emergency routes, contact numbers for the family, the antibiotics Cipro and doxycycline, a first-aid kit, and plastic sheeting and duct tape. Quinn herself keeps all these things in her home’s laundry room, because it’s “easy to seal off.” Also, her food supply is heavy on the beans, “because they’re nutritious.”
Watch That Gas Gauge. If Quinn’s Georgetown neighbors have spotted her frequently at the gas station recently, it’s not necessarily because she’s doing a lot of traveling. The Postie always keeps her tank full in case catastrophe strikes. In practice, that means that when the needle on her Mercedes-Benz station wagon drops by a fourth, it’s back to the filling station. “Three-quarters is pretty much the rule,” she says.
Two Words: Peanut Butter. Along with a supply of water, Quinn keeps a “large jar” of peanut butter in her car, primarily for the protein. Even a small amount of this staple, says Quinn, will sustain the terrorism victim for quite some time.
Keep the Kayak in the Garage. In a 2003 Post piece, Quinn advocated the use of inflatable kayaks as an evacuation mode for those who live near water. The mass hysteria following Hurricane Katrina, though, has apparently soured Quinn on riparian retreat. “Somebody would stick you up with a gun,” said Quinn of an evacuee headed to the river with a portable craft.
Don’t Bother Putting Masks on Your Dog. At the Georgetown speech, an audience member suggested placing masks on pets to keep them from spreading contagions. Quinn responded that she’d tried putting an N95 on Sparky, her now-deceased Shih Tzu, but it didn’t work.
Don’t Trust Public Officials. In a wide-ranging critique of local and federal preparations for terrorist attacks, Quinn made the following contentions:
•Police and fire officials in the District don’t want to warn residents about the hazards posed by chlorine tankers on D.C. railroad tracks out of fear of causing hysteria.
•Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson’s contention that the nation is prepared for a biological or chemical weapons attack is “the biggest lie.”
•Federal emergency authorities “not only lie, they don’t tell the truth.”
See, these brave socialites and bureaucrats knew they were on their own against the freedom hating islamofascists who wanted to kill them in their beds. They were the last line of defense between us an sharia law.
This is why that beeyotch Desiree Rogers must be fired. Otherwise everyone will be forced to wear gasmasks and live on peanut butter and duct tape again. Or something.