Taking care of Jamie
Boy, Jamie Dimon must feel bruised and battered all over after the pounding he got in the Senate this morning:
“You’re obviously renowned, rightfully so i think, as being one of the most, you know, one of the best CEOs in the country for financial institutions,” crooned Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN). “You missed this, it’s a blip on the radar screen.”Ouch!
Sen. Michael Bennet (D-CO) asked Dimon to sound off on the country’s budget woes. “I think you’re well aware of my concern about the fiscal condition of this country,” Bennet said. “I wonder if you could take the last couple minutes of this time to talk about how you see our relative position with Europe and other places, the political risk of our not accomplishing what we need to do in the fiscal side, and the upside if we could actually come together in a comprehensive way to address the long-term fiscal condition of the United States.”Ooof. No more, please!
Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) — a tea party hero — gave Dimon a full pardon. “I really appreciate you voluntarily coming in to talk with us,” he said. “It is important that we talk about things happening in the industry. It helps us as we look forward and, hopefully, it will contribute to best practice scenarios in industry. I appreciate your emphasis on continuous quality improvement. We can hardly sit in judgment of your losing $2 billion. We lose twice that every day in Washington.”The humaaanity!
Sen. Jerry Moran (R-KS) asked Dimon and his firm to be good corporate citizens, if only to avoid complicating conservative free market messaging. “How you managed JPMorgan is the business of your board of directors, your shareholders, but it does have consequences to those of us who believe in the free-market system, its value, its merit. I have the sense and I hope it’s the case that it is a responsibility you understand. [Your] behavior really matters in our ability to be an advocate for a free-market that creates jobs and economic opportunity and allows Americans to pursue the American dream.”Hasn't the poor man had enough? Can't we all get along?
So concerned were the senators that increased regulations might burden Wall Street that in an exchange with Sen. Roger Wicker (R-MS), Dimon even offered to get neighborly with the people charged with policing his firm’s actions, to keep them well informed about financial regulatory issues.Hey, he'll sleep with your wives for you if that's what it takes. The man is is a saint.
“Me and lots of other folks, we’ll do whatever you want, we’ll even get apartments down here,” Dimon offered.
Oy vey. But it's probably a good thing to keep this in mind before you judge these Senators too harshly. They have needs:
JPMorgan is Banking Committee Chairman Tim Johnson's second-largest contributor over the last two-plus decades, according to the Center for Responsive Politics, which analyzes campaign giving from companies' employees and their political action committees since 1989. The same is true for the committee's top Republican, Sen. Richard Shelby, and its second-ranking Democrat, Sen. Jack Reed.Update: Meanwhile, Larry Sabato stares at his fingernails:
The committee's number-two Republican, Sen. Mike Crapo, and its third-ranking Democrat, Sen. Charles Schumer, are not far behind their colleagues, with JPMorgan ranking third and fourth, respectively, among their contributors.
"Contributions are useful, but they do not protect you when you have gotten in trouble in a high visibility way," said Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics. "That description fits Dimon just now."