Digby's Hullabaloo
2801 Ocean Park Blvd.
Box 157
Santa Monica, Ca 90405

Facebook: Digby Parton

@BloggersRUs (Tom Sullivan)

thedigbyblog at gmail
satniteflix at gmail
publius.gaius at gmail
tpostsully at gmail
Spockosbrain at gmail
Richardein at me.com


Mother Jones
Raw Story
Huffington Post
Crooks and Liars
American Prospect
New Republic

Denofcinema.com: Saturday Night at the Movies by Dennis Hartley review archive

January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


Thursday, August 10, 2017

5 Lines of Defense Against Global Trump Disaster 

by Spocko

Trump Threatens ‘Fire and Fury’ Against North Korea if It Endangers U.S.

Saber, meet Rattler-in-Chief

Don't worry folks! There are multiple ways we scientists from the future can fix things if they get really horrible. I'm going to tell about the 5 Lines of Defense Against Global Trump Disaster (GTDs)

1) The Trump Babysitting Team (TBT)

Ivanka Trump is our first line of defense.

She will pull him back from the brink of war. It's her job. When Trump was elected the DoD hired her for her "Daddy Whispering" skills. Why do you think she's around Daddy all the time? To talk fashion? She's part of the TBT along with McMaster, Kelly and two undisclosed women who might be in the same room with him in the wee hours.

2) New Star Wars Defense System (GMD)

If North Korea launches its nuke it will be shot down lickity split by the revamped Star Wars Missile Shield, called the Ground-based Mid-course Defense System or GMD for short. This Warthog Defense video explains how it works.

It was a boondoggle program for decades, but it appears to work great now. My friend Guy sued first SDI makers and found out that those people were some of the biggest liars and cheats he ever met, but they are totally telling the truth about their programs now. They're our second line of defense.

3) Disaster Fixing Machine (DFM)

If Ivanka fails and the GMD doesn't work, we have a third line of defense.  I'm telling you this on deep background, off the record, no backsies. no leaksies! The US has a machine that lets us go back in time 4 and 1/2 days (specifically 4 days, 6 hours, 3 minutes, 45 seconds, 14.5 nanoseconds.)  George W. Bush used it first in 2002 to stop the nuke that went off in Baltimore (as depicted in the movie The Sum of all Fears, starring Ben Affleck.)

Bush also used it to stop the ferry bombing in New Orleans after Katrina (as depicted in the movie Deja Vu, starring Denzel Washington.) Thank science we had it!  How many times did Bush use it during his reign? It's still classified, but let's just say it rhymes with bleven.

4) Someone Up There Will Save Us (SUTWSU)

As some of you know, I am an alien. As in, not of this earth. I'm not the only one. Luckily, another alien is in a position to help.  He's a strange visitor from another country. He's not as tall as you would think, but he stands for Truth, Justice and the North American Way.  And he has super powers. Yes, I'm talking about Justin Trudeau. He's our fourth line of defense. 

Below is a clip of what he did when Trump launched a preemptive strike at North Korea from his undisclosed location at a New Jersey golf club three days from now---before we used the DFM to fix the timeline.

Here's more undisclosed footage from that time line  Most of you don't remember these timelines because duh, you are in the one that got fixed. But they seem familiar to you, right? Deja Vu!

These timelines are leaked to science fiction and military fiction writers by DFM insiders so they will create books and movies showing those horrific realities. (Where do you think that hack Tom Clancy  got his ideas from, Schenectady?)

These serve as a warning for what will happen if, for example, we allow someone with no impulse control to control our WMDs. These lines of defense usually work. They should, they cost enough. It's necessary now because Americans are further away from the realities of war than ever before. Why do you think Hollywood keeps churning out post-apocalyptic disasters? For the money? No. It's to stick the image of the tragedy of war into the American public consciousness. 

But here's the problem, our machines don't always work as advertised to the Pentagon. We can't always shoot down the missiles and we can't go back in time. Some aliens' only superpower is hunkiness (which is a totally valid power by the way. )

5) Our Final Line of Defense: Humans

Regular old humans need to prevent Global Trump Disasters before they happen.

It's hard to get human American's to visualize the worse that could happen and act to prevent it.  

I saw this with the Y2K problem. Some people with low-brain power thought that because nothing happened it wasn't a big deal. It WAS a big deal, but we organized, acted and fixed the problem.
Some people have disaster fatigue from listening to the wrong people, the old "Fox that cried wolf" story. Others need to experience the tragedy in order to believe it. These people are tiresome, self-centered and Conservatives.

After the world crashes and burns they might say, "Well I guess you were right after all." Which is great, but it's too late and unless I can take them back in time do the right thing, it's a Phyric victory.

Consider yourself lucky you can watch movies about what might happen so you don't have to experience the actual tragic timelines. Believe me, it sucks having multiple horrific timelines crowding up your brain. If I wasn't a Vulcan, with strong mental discipline, they would make my nose bleed green.

You've seen this movie before. The narrative doesn't change because the characters don't change. They do the same things unless you get up off the couch and do something. Maybe you eject the tape or unplug the isoliner chip, USB stick, but you need to do something to stop the movie.

Who knows, maybe you are the snowflake that will start the avalanche.

BTW, in case you are wondering, Obama never used the DFM, although I wouldn't be breaking the temporal prime directive to tell you the one time he was tempted. No details but it rhymes with "Blut Blur Blemails!"